My pregnancy and birth story
December 5, 2009
My pregnancy was handled negligently by all so called health care professionals. I was a high risk
patient, but they failed to treat me as such. During my pregnancy it was found I had a low lying
placenta and pre-eclampsia. I had a 2 severe bleeds but the hospital failed to act. By the time I
was admitted for induction at at 42 weeks, Caitlin was at real danger. The maternity unit had closed to admissions as it was experiencing a very busy period. I was supposed to me induced on Wednesday morning, but due to staff shortages, I was left on the ward for 2 days waiting. I was taken to a 3 bedded room, with 1 midwife caring for all of us. Once prostin was given to start labour, I had a major bleed of about 450ml. I was stripped naked infront of the other patients and their birth partners and put into a gown. I had no privacy or dignity. Midwife A crash called the Doctor who came to examine me 45 MINUTES later. I was prepared for a caesarean, but then the Doctor decided labour should be left to progress. I was allocated a delivery room with Midwife B, and was told I needed syntocinon (a powerful drug) to speed up my contractions. I do not know why, but the syntocinon was given at a higher rate than it was meant to be given. This made my contractions very painful. Midwife B had not recorded my clinical risks in my medical notes, it apperas she was not even aware of them. Midwife B disappeared for up to 2 hours at a time. She put me on a CTG monitor and told me to press the emergency buzzer if it alarmed. It did several times, but no-one came when I called. I later found out the reason for Midwife B disappearing was that she was caring for 3 other patients as well as me. Then Midwife C came at night to take over. Midwife C was very miserable and made no effort to talk to us. I was screaming in agony as I had been in uterine hyperstimulation because of the syntocinon. I began to feel the urge to push, but I was distressed and tired. Midwife C said "Dont push then, we will be here all night" I asked for a ventouse delivery as I had one with my first child and knew it helped me deliver easily. "You dont need that" she said. Midwife C kept telling me to push, then a Doctor came in and said I was to stop pushing! There was so much confusion. I kept pushing until Caitlin was finally delivered 24 hours after the induction was started.
Caitlin was born blue and not breathing. We knew something was wrong when we saw blood coming from
her mouth and nose. The second midwife took her off and they crash called the paediatric team. We
were in a state of shock. I knew it was bad but I assumed she just needed a little help and that she
would be fine. Caitlin had suffered birth asphyxia and was given neonatal resuscitation which
involved a bag and mask with CPR, then intubation, ventilation and life support in SCBU. Within
hours of her birth Caitlin showed signs of convulsions. For this she was given medication and was
sedated to calm the activity in her brain, as it was swollen and the pressure could be enough to
kill her. Caitlin had multi-organ damage, to her heart, lungs, kidneys and liver. Her urine output
was poor and there were concerns about her breathing. Gradually these organs showed signs of
recovery. The main concern was her brain. Once a brain is starved of oxygen, the cells are killed,
and these cannot regenerate or repair like other organs. Damage is irreversible and it varies
depending on how severe and long the person is asphyxiated for. Tragically, Caitlin's was of the
more catastrophic variety. There were widespread areas of damage to the brain. It was a very bleak
outlook.
At the time I did not really take this all in. I did not fully understand just how bad this was. I
just sat in SCBU day after day, night after night, refusing to leave her. I prayed, cried, shouted,
collapsed to the floor. I asked WHY???? Why my little baby, born weighing 9lb5ozs and looking so
perfect and normal, was now being pumped full of drugs, having machines breathing for her, having
her soft baby hair shaved off for access into the veind in her head. What went so wrong? Why me???
All we wanted was for our little girl to live. As the days went by Caitlin stopped fitting, and
started breathing on CPAP. She had no suck or swallow reflex, this was due to the brain damage.
Caitlin was fed via a nasal gastric tube. When she was breathing on her own the Doctor's started
talking about discharging her, and asking what I wanted to do. I wanted her home! With her family
where we could care for her and love her. We had meetings with community nurses, social workers and
was prepared physically for taking home a disabled child. Mentally and emotionally this was much
harder. We had to begin to grieve for the child Caitlin should have been. Loving her was no problem,
that is unconditional. Caitlin was so vunerable and we just wanted to do all we could for her.
We took her home at 3 weeks and we began learning how to tube feed her, how to give oral suctioning
to clear her airways, to carry out daily physio, to manage her severe reflux (she would throw up
after every feed) and muscle spasms. Handling was difficult as her legs were fixed in an extended
scissored position, her arms were tightly curled up. Her head stayed floppy, and Caitlin had no
motor control or voluntary movement. Caitlin really did suffer during her short life. It is hard to
imagine the pain and it really upsets me to think of her trapped in her tiny frail body not being
able to see or hear.
We hoped that her condition would improve but it didnt. We used a tumble form chair, we slept her on
a wedge, we gave lots of sensory stimulation, physio, massage but nothing made her any more
comfortable. Caitlin was under the frequent care of some 13 organistations. Everyone could see how
ill she was and she was not growing due to her high energy needs plus her reflux. At 1 year she was
admitted for failure to thrive. The hospital carried out lots of tests and found Caitlin had
epilepsy.
A couple of weeks later, Caitlin was discharged home and we were optimistic about the anti fitting
medication and new feeding regime and hoped that she would make some real improvement. For a short
while she gained weight. Then in October I realised her gastrostomy site looked sore and scabby and
that Caitlin was unwell and coughing alot. Caitlin often had chest infections due to the loss of her
gag/suck/swallow reflex. Her oral secretions would drain into her lungs. I harassed the community
nurse to come round and take a look at her, and eventually he turned up at 6.30pm. I explained my
concerns, but he did not seem too worried and suggested I took Caitlin to the GP the next day. So I
put Caitlin on her feeding pump, gave her meds and put her to sleep with a kiss and a cuddle. At 2am
I heard her coughing, so I checked on her but she settled and I went back to sleep. At 7am I heard
Caitlins feeding pump alarming to tell me the feed had finished. I went in and realised immediately
that Caitlin was unconscious. I lifted her up and checked her breathing, she was not breathing so I
shouted for her Daddy to call an ambulance. At this time she was still warm and had pink lips. I
laid Caitlin down and started CPR which the hospital had taught me. The paramedics arrived and took
over. We got to Lewisham hospital on the blue lights in 3 minutes, where they battled for 20 minutes
to save our precious girl, but it was too late. She was gone. It took me a while to see her after
they came and told me she had passed. I was scared. I dont know why... The hospital Chaplain Annie
sat and prayed with her while I built up the courage to see my angel. When I did, I just picked her
up like normal and held her so tightly. I had nothing to be scared of. She looked so peaceful and at
rest. All the family came and held her, we took lots of photo's and the nurse took a piece of her
hair for me to keep. I wanted to carry her to the mortuary, and as we stepped out the doors of A&E
the sun beamed on her face. Alex and I treasure that short moment in time, when I carried our angel
in the autumn sun. It was then I knew she was in a better place.
An inquest was launched into Caitlin's death. I had already instructed a solicitor to obtain medical records and investigate the birth as it was quite obviously the cause of Caitlins brain damage.
It has come to light that Caitlin was in distress for 3 hours, but none of the Doctor's or midwives picked up on it. The CTG trace clearly shows decelerations in her heart rate with a very slow recovery. Had a caesarean been carried out, or a ventouse delivery an hour before Caitlin was born when I was having trouble in the pushing stage, Caitlin would have been born unharmed.
The inquest is still on going so I am unable to name the hospital involved for legal reasons, however I will be very soon exposing them.
patient, but they failed to treat me as such. During my pregnancy it was found I had a low lying
placenta and pre-eclampsia. I had a 2 severe bleeds but the hospital failed to act. By the time I
was admitted for induction at at 42 weeks, Caitlin was at real danger. The maternity unit had closed to admissions as it was experiencing a very busy period. I was supposed to me induced on Wednesday morning, but due to staff shortages, I was left on the ward for 2 days waiting. I was taken to a 3 bedded room, with 1 midwife caring for all of us. Once prostin was given to start labour, I had a major bleed of about 450ml. I was stripped naked infront of the other patients and their birth partners and put into a gown. I had no privacy or dignity. Midwife A crash called the Doctor who came to examine me 45 MINUTES later. I was prepared for a caesarean, but then the Doctor decided labour should be left to progress. I was allocated a delivery room with Midwife B, and was told I needed syntocinon (a powerful drug) to speed up my contractions. I do not know why, but the syntocinon was given at a higher rate than it was meant to be given. This made my contractions very painful. Midwife B had not recorded my clinical risks in my medical notes, it apperas she was not even aware of them. Midwife B disappeared for up to 2 hours at a time. She put me on a CTG monitor and told me to press the emergency buzzer if it alarmed. It did several times, but no-one came when I called. I later found out the reason for Midwife B disappearing was that she was caring for 3 other patients as well as me. Then Midwife C came at night to take over. Midwife C was very miserable and made no effort to talk to us. I was screaming in agony as I had been in uterine hyperstimulation because of the syntocinon. I began to feel the urge to push, but I was distressed and tired. Midwife C said "Dont push then, we will be here all night" I asked for a ventouse delivery as I had one with my first child and knew it helped me deliver easily. "You dont need that" she said. Midwife C kept telling me to push, then a Doctor came in and said I was to stop pushing! There was so much confusion. I kept pushing until Caitlin was finally delivered 24 hours after the induction was started.
Caitlin was born blue and not breathing. We knew something was wrong when we saw blood coming from
her mouth and nose. The second midwife took her off and they crash called the paediatric team. We
were in a state of shock. I knew it was bad but I assumed she just needed a little help and that she
would be fine. Caitlin had suffered birth asphyxia and was given neonatal resuscitation which
involved a bag and mask with CPR, then intubation, ventilation and life support in SCBU. Within
hours of her birth Caitlin showed signs of convulsions. For this she was given medication and was
sedated to calm the activity in her brain, as it was swollen and the pressure could be enough to
kill her. Caitlin had multi-organ damage, to her heart, lungs, kidneys and liver. Her urine output
was poor and there were concerns about her breathing. Gradually these organs showed signs of
recovery. The main concern was her brain. Once a brain is starved of oxygen, the cells are killed,
and these cannot regenerate or repair like other organs. Damage is irreversible and it varies
depending on how severe and long the person is asphyxiated for. Tragically, Caitlin's was of the
more catastrophic variety. There were widespread areas of damage to the brain. It was a very bleak
outlook.
At the time I did not really take this all in. I did not fully understand just how bad this was. I
just sat in SCBU day after day, night after night, refusing to leave her. I prayed, cried, shouted,
collapsed to the floor. I asked WHY???? Why my little baby, born weighing 9lb5ozs and looking so
perfect and normal, was now being pumped full of drugs, having machines breathing for her, having
her soft baby hair shaved off for access into the veind in her head. What went so wrong? Why me???
All we wanted was for our little girl to live. As the days went by Caitlin stopped fitting, and
started breathing on CPAP. She had no suck or swallow reflex, this was due to the brain damage.
Caitlin was fed via a nasal gastric tube. When she was breathing on her own the Doctor's started
talking about discharging her, and asking what I wanted to do. I wanted her home! With her family
where we could care for her and love her. We had meetings with community nurses, social workers and
was prepared physically for taking home a disabled child. Mentally and emotionally this was much
harder. We had to begin to grieve for the child Caitlin should have been. Loving her was no problem,
that is unconditional. Caitlin was so vunerable and we just wanted to do all we could for her.
We took her home at 3 weeks and we began learning how to tube feed her, how to give oral suctioning
to clear her airways, to carry out daily physio, to manage her severe reflux (she would throw up
after every feed) and muscle spasms. Handling was difficult as her legs were fixed in an extended
scissored position, her arms were tightly curled up. Her head stayed floppy, and Caitlin had no
motor control or voluntary movement. Caitlin really did suffer during her short life. It is hard to
imagine the pain and it really upsets me to think of her trapped in her tiny frail body not being
able to see or hear.
We hoped that her condition would improve but it didnt. We used a tumble form chair, we slept her on
a wedge, we gave lots of sensory stimulation, physio, massage but nothing made her any more
comfortable. Caitlin was under the frequent care of some 13 organistations. Everyone could see how
ill she was and she was not growing due to her high energy needs plus her reflux. At 1 year she was
admitted for failure to thrive. The hospital carried out lots of tests and found Caitlin had
epilepsy.
A couple of weeks later, Caitlin was discharged home and we were optimistic about the anti fitting
medication and new feeding regime and hoped that she would make some real improvement. For a short
while she gained weight. Then in October I realised her gastrostomy site looked sore and scabby and
that Caitlin was unwell and coughing alot. Caitlin often had chest infections due to the loss of her
gag/suck/swallow reflex. Her oral secretions would drain into her lungs. I harassed the community
nurse to come round and take a look at her, and eventually he turned up at 6.30pm. I explained my
concerns, but he did not seem too worried and suggested I took Caitlin to the GP the next day. So I
put Caitlin on her feeding pump, gave her meds and put her to sleep with a kiss and a cuddle. At 2am
I heard her coughing, so I checked on her but she settled and I went back to sleep. At 7am I heard
Caitlins feeding pump alarming to tell me the feed had finished. I went in and realised immediately
that Caitlin was unconscious. I lifted her up and checked her breathing, she was not breathing so I
shouted for her Daddy to call an ambulance. At this time she was still warm and had pink lips. I
laid Caitlin down and started CPR which the hospital had taught me. The paramedics arrived and took
over. We got to Lewisham hospital on the blue lights in 3 minutes, where they battled for 20 minutes
to save our precious girl, but it was too late. She was gone. It took me a while to see her after
they came and told me she had passed. I was scared. I dont know why... The hospital Chaplain Annie
sat and prayed with her while I built up the courage to see my angel. When I did, I just picked her
up like normal and held her so tightly. I had nothing to be scared of. She looked so peaceful and at
rest. All the family came and held her, we took lots of photo's and the nurse took a piece of her
hair for me to keep. I wanted to carry her to the mortuary, and as we stepped out the doors of A&E
the sun beamed on her face. Alex and I treasure that short moment in time, when I carried our angel
in the autumn sun. It was then I knew she was in a better place.
An inquest was launched into Caitlin's death. I had already instructed a solicitor to obtain medical records and investigate the birth as it was quite obviously the cause of Caitlins brain damage.
It has come to light that Caitlin was in distress for 3 hours, but none of the Doctor's or midwives picked up on it. The CTG trace clearly shows decelerations in her heart rate with a very slow recovery. Had a caesarean been carried out, or a ventouse delivery an hour before Caitlin was born when I was having trouble in the pushing stage, Caitlin would have been born unharmed.
The inquest is still on going so I am unable to name the hospital involved for legal reasons, however I will be very soon exposing them.
Posted by Zoe Manning.
I am a 24 year old mother of 3 girls. Ria, Caitlin and Caelia. Sadly my little girl Caitlin died at 13 months due to the brain injury she acquired at birth. I am now fighting for better maternity services to improve the birth experience of other women.